The Dark Night – You don’t Exist –
On May 21, 2004 I sat on my couch, watching a prime time television show called, Joan of Arcadia with my wife. Carol and I sat there, watching this episode called “Silence”, it was all about the Dark Night of The Soul.
Sometime the previous winter, The Dark Night descended upon me, and all that I was, or more accurately all that I thought I was, was dying.
“Silence. All I saw when I looked into their eyes, was God. I watched every one of them, pretending – denying that they were God. Identifying with their habits, their history, their possessions, their traumas and their skills. Me, I knew that it all was illusion, all a cosmic joke. Humans, we have the gift to forget what we really are, and then forget that we forgot even that.”
I had tried to explain several times during that fall and winter, that “I was dying”. The man who I was, who I had pretended to be for so long, didn’t exist. I went back and forth, noticing God in all things, and noticing nothing, being – nothing.
Yet, I was life. And life is love, God, the Divine, nothing more, nothing less. There was no hope, there was no faith, there was no belief to hang on to, there was only being.
That Friday evening in March, we watched Joan of Arcadia – a high school girl, get told that she never saw or talked to God. We watched her “reality” fall apart.
About a month later, I looked into 5 sets of eyes, and I saw nothing but God looking back at me.
Why am I writing this? Because, for a long long time, I have aspired to be a fraud. I have aspired to do what almost everyone on planet earth is doing. I have aspired to pretend, that “this all matters”. I have aspired to pretend that “what isn’t real, is real.”
“I’m here to tell you, you don’t exist. The you that you think you are, never was. It’s a dream, it’s a nightmare, it’s a fantasy. And it all pales compared to the reality that you are.”
I am here to tell you, what you are, does exist. It / you can not die. What you are holds the world.
Now what do I write? What can I share?
“This is the most honest, complete writing I have ever done. Will anyone care? Will anyone be blessed by this?“
Words can’t do this justice. Words at best relate a concept about an experience. And you are far more cool than any concept or experience.
More to come.
Mr Twenty Twenty
PS: So when I meet people, for the first time, for the millionth time, all I see in their eyes, is God. Mostly what I see in their behavior is them attempting to deny or forget it. The good news, people are really hyper successful at this.
The other good news, is that at anytime, you can commit to stop being a fraud, you can commit to stop pretending, you can discover you, and the world that you hold.
It isn’t about money, success, or even doing what you are designed or destined to do, though that is important. It’s about you, discovering clarity, about what you really are.
Click here to join me at our next event!
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